Couple of computer jokes

The Sex of a Computer

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 
‘House ‘ for instance, is feminine:  ‘ la casa. ‘ 
‘ Pencil, ‘ however, is masculine:  ‘ el lapiz. ‘
A student asked,  ‘ What gender is  ‘ computer ‘ ? ‘
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two  groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer ‘ should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. 
The men ‘ s group decided that  ‘ computer ‘ should definitely be of the feminine gender ( ‘ la computadora ‘ ), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself  spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. 
The women ‘ s group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ( ‘el  computador ‘ ), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can ‘ t think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won. 

The Original Computer!!!!

Memory was something you lost with age
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano
A web was a spider ‘ s home
A virus was the flu
A CD was a bank account
A hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived 
And if you had a 3.5 inch floppy.

You just hoped nobody ever found out!?!

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